Key points about support when your child has cancer
- if your child has had a cancer diagnosis, the responses of everyone in your whānau can cover a wide range of emotions
- you and your whānau should know you are not alone and that support is available
After your child's cancer diagnosis
If your child has had a cancer diagnosis, the responses of everyone in your whānau can cover a wide range of emotions. These can vary in intensity and the length of time they last. They can also occur and recur unexpectedly.
For adults, there may be any mix of feelings:
- denial
- anger
- guilt
- grief
- fear
- blame
- confusion
- worry
- sadness
- a sense of loss
For tamariki (children) and rangatahi (young people), there may also be behavioural changes.
The impact on you and your family
While you're going through all of this, you and your whānau also need to understand medical information, discover how to navigate the health system and learn the mechanics of continuing to live well with your child's illness.
Your whānau may also notice the effects of:
- caring for your child having cancer treatment, which may continue for a long time
- the effort of continuing work commitments and household and whānau activities while caring for your sick child
- the demands of caring for other tamariki in your whānau in the new situation, which may be puzzling for them
- the impact on inter-family relationships and relationships with friends
You and your whānau should know you are not alone and that support is available.
Support from the hospital social worker when your child has cancer
A child's cancer diagnosis can be physically and emotionally taxing for you and the whole whānau. You may find yourselves in situations ranging from turmoil to crisis.
The hospital social worker can help organise emotional and practical support for you and your whānau. Support is available:
- when you are in hospital with your child
- when you are in your own home
- within your community
Finding the social worker at the hospital
A social worker will be aware of you and your child's arrival in the ward at the hospital. The social worker will arrange to meet you and talk with you about the various types of support available for your whānau.
Practical support when your child has cancer
Practical support can include help with things such as:
- accommodation
- travel benefits
- parking
- childcare
- finance
- counselling
Emotional support when your child has cancer
Emotional support can include:
- organising crisis counselling
- making psychological assessments
- acting as an advocate in family meetings
- offering stress management strategies
- making suggestions about sibling care
- giving advice about inter-family relationships
Cultural support when your child has cancer
Cultural support can include:
- referral to the hospital Māori or Pacific Island health team if your child or whānau asks for cultural support
- suggesting referral to the hospital Māori or Pacific Island health team or community Māori health provider if this help can positively influence outcomes or help your family reach their goals more easily
Spiritual support when your child has cancer
Spiritual support can include:
- making a referral to a spiritual advisor or pastoral carer from the hospital or community
- making a referral to the Māori health team when there is a request for karakia before a procedure
Support from a child psychologist when your child has cancer
Support from a child psychologist may be available.
Tell your doctor at the hospital if you would like some help with behavioural changes that you notice in your child.
Community support when your child has cancer
CCF is a national organisation that offers emotional and practical support to children with cancer and their families. Check out the CCF family hub on their website for information about support services.
CanTeen is an organisation for 13 to 24-year-olds living with cancer, whether they are dealing with their own cancer or that of a sibling or parent. 'CanTeeners' support each other at home and in the hospital. Check out their section on parent and whānau support.
Acknowledgements
All the pages in the childhood cancer section of this website have been written by health professionals who work in the field of paediatric oncology. They have been reviewed by the members of the National Child Cancer Network (NZ). Medical information is authorised by the clinical leader of the National Child Cancer Network.
