This video teaches kids how anxiety is a normal biological response – called “Fight, Flight, Freeze” – that can get triggered inappropriately in the modern world. Anxiety Canada created this video with support from BC Partners for Mental Health and Addictions Information.
Source: Anxiety Canada
Key points about anxiety
- anxiety is a common and natural feeling that everybody experiences
- if anxiety is significantly impacting your child's life - it's important to get help
- anxiety disorders can be treated with therapy and medication
What is anxiety?
Anxiety is a common and natural experience. Many people feel it, regardless of their age. Anxiety is a normal response because it prepares us to manage certain situations. Anxiety can happen when faced with something threatening, dangerous, embarrassing, or stressful.
Some tamariki (children) and rangatahi (young people) may feel anxiety more intensely. They can find it harder to get their anxious feelings under control.
Tamariki and rangatahi experiencing anxiety might feel:
- ‘on edge’
- overwhelmed
- worried
- frightened
- like something bad is going to happen
- panicked
Some tamariki and rangatahi experience a range of physical symptoms with anxiety. This can include a racing heart, sweating, and feeling sick in the stomach.
Things that make children and young people anxious
For tamariki and rangatahi, there are common fears that are often associated with age. For example, infants may fear separating from their parents. Young tamariki often fear insects and animals. Some tamariki may also fear the dark or imagine there are monsters under the bed.
Rangatahi also have many anxieties, such as worrying about fitting in. They worry that others are judging them. Striving for excellence in sport or academics can sometimes lead to performance anxiety.
Some tamariki may feel anxious when they face new or unfamiliar situations. They may feel that the fear or danger is much bigger than it really is. Thinking about the situation can make their worry grow and their body feel tense.
How common is anxiety?
Anxiety is one of the most common challenges experienced by tamariki and rangatahi. Sometimes the anxiety can interfere with your child's daily life. This may be a sign that an 'anxiety disorder' is developing and treatment for this may be necessary.
Causes of anxiety
No one knows what causes anxiety. Research has shown the following 4 factors contribute to anxiety:
- temperament
- genetics
- learned behaviour
- negative experiences
People with an anxiety disorder tend to worry more than others. They are also more sensitive to danger. Research has shown that anxiety can run in whānau (families). When parents are anxious, their tamariki may learn they should also worry a lot. Negative events that have happened in a person's life can also cause anxiety. For example, if a dog bites a child, the child may become scared of dogs.
Signs and symptoms of anxiety
Anxiety is usually experienced in 3 different ways:
- physical feelings
- thought patterns
- behaviour patterns
Physical sensations
Your child may experience physical symptoms of anxiety. This is often called the fight-or-flight response. It refers to the body doing a number of things to prepare for quick action or a quick escape from potential danger.
Your child might experience:
- increased heart rate
- heavy or rapid breathing
- stomach aches
- nausea
- vomiting
- diarrhoea
- headaches
Thought patterns
Tamariki who experience anxiety sometimes think something bad is going to happen. They may worry about a threat or danger that may seem bigger to them than it actually is.
Tamariki and rangatahi may:
- think the worst will happen
- ask for help with things they can do for themselves
- worry a lot about doing things right
- ask “will you do it for me?” or “will you tell them for me?” a lot
- have a lot of ‘what if’ thoughts, such as ‘what if I can’t do this?’
Behaviour patterns
Avoidance is the main behaviour pattern of anxiety. This can be obvious such as refusing to do something they are fearful of, like going outside when it's dark. Or it may not be so obvious, like staying with someone they know so they don’t have to talk to strangers.
Other behaviour patterns include:
- clinging to a parent or caregiver
- fidgeting, pacing, or shaking
- not going to sleep without a parent or other adult
- preferring to watch others rather than have a go
- fearing things such as the dark, dogs, injections, being alone, germs, tests
- crying over small things
Find out about the different anxiety disorders.
Watch this video to learn how anxiety keeps us alive, and how worries in your head affect what you feel in your body.
Source: Anxiety Canada
How to support your child with anxiety
There are lots of things you can do to help your child manage their anxiety.
Acknowledge
Acknowledge your child’s feelings. Let them know that it is normal and common to feel anxious. Tell them lots of people are also having similar feelings.
Remind
Remind them of times when they have been brave in the past. Tell them you love them. Remind them they are safe and cared for (in whatever realistic or truthful way they are).
Praise
If your child tries something that you know makes them anxious, praise their effort.
Problem-solve
Encourage your child to think of ways to solve his or her problems, rather than saying:
Don’t worry!
Everything will be fine!
For example, you could say:
If (the worst) happens, what could you do?
Let’s think of some ways you could handle that situation.
Be calm
Tamariki and rangatahi look to the adults around them to work out how worried they should be.
Talk openly
Talking to your child about the things that make them anxious can help reduce the anxiety they feel. It will also help you understand what’s going on for your child. It places you in a better position to help them manage their anxiety and find solutions.
Find out more about anxiety in children and young people at the Australian 'Beyond Blue' website.
Check out more about supporting anxious kids at the Anxiety NZ website.
Brief exercises to help anxious children
Check out these simple and short exercises for anxious children from Anxiety NZ.
When to get help for your child's anxiety
If anxiety is having a significant impact on your child's daily life, it is important to get them some help.
Tamariki may need some extra support when:
- they feel anxious more than other tamariki of a similar age
- anxiety stops them from participating in activities at school or socially
- anxiety interferes with their ability to do things that other tamariki their age can do
- their fears and worries seem out of proportion to the issues in their life
It is important for your child to have an assessment. This should be with a health professional who knows how to manage anxiety in children.
It's also a good idea to have a physical check to make sure there is no underlying illness causing the symptoms.
Cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT)
Research has shown a psychological (talking) therapy called cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) can help. CBT is effective in helping people learn ways to overcome or manage anxiety.
Medication
Your child's health professional may recommend medicine. This is sometimes used if the anxiety is very severe or if there are other conditions such as depression. People still benefit from psychological therapy alongside medicine.
Referral to other health professionals
Seeing a health professional is the best first step. They will be able to provide guidance about where to get more help. This may involve a referral to another health professional. This could be a counsellor in the community. Tamariki may need to see your local child and adolescent mental health service. They offer expert assessment and help for anxiety.
Find out where to get help if your child or young person is having a mental health emergency.
Find out where to get non-urgent support for your child.
Various digital tools, apps and programmes can help tamariki and rangatahi struggling with their mental wellbeing. These interactive programmes teach them skills to help them if they are feeling down, depressed, anxious or stressed.
