How To Talk To Your Child About Sex

Talking with your children about sex can be difficult but it is important. If you want to be involved in shaping your child's ideas and attitudes about sex, start these conversations early.

Key points to remember about how to talk to your children about sex

if you want to be involved in shaping your child's ideas and attitudes about sex, start these conversations early
it's OK to feel nervous about talking to your child about sex
treat the conversation with care and make sure you let them have their say – even if you disagree with something, or something they say takes you by surprise
try to have lots of little talks, instead of just one big talk when they are a teen
more and more young people are also learning about sex from pornography
many young people say they are doing this because adults are too embarrassed to answer the questions they have about sex
if your child wants to talk about sex - but not with you, you could try asking a trusted adult relative or friend to talk to them instead

You can also check some advice about how to talk to your child about pornography

What resources are available to help me talk to young people about sex?

Having 'the sex talk' with your young person is always going to be a bit awkward. But if you want to be involved in shaping your child's ideas and attitudes about sex, start these conversations early. Below are some resources that can help you to start a conversation with your young person about sex.

Family Planning

The Family Planning website has a series of pages on information for young people and parents.

They say: "We understand that talking with your child/tamaiti about sex, sexuality and relationships can be challenging. But talking is important - it shows your young people that you think this is important and that you're someone they can talk with and come to for help and information. It's also important to remember that this is not just one conversation - it's going to be many conversations across many years."

See:

Parenting Place

The Parenting Place website has some useful suggestions on how to start a conversation about sex.

They say: "You may not have learned about sex until your early teens yourself and that is because information was far less accessible when you were growing up. All you had was the dictionary's definition of sex and that one puberty lesson with the oldest teacher at your school. This generation has so much access to information that if you want to be involved in shaping your child's ideas and attitudes about sex, start these conversations early."

See:

how to talk you your kids about sex

JUST THE FACTS

JUST THE FACTS is a website run by the Sexually Transmitted Infections Education Foundation (STIEF). It is a project funded by the Ministry of Health through district health boards to educate New Zealanders about sexually transmitted infections (STIs).

See:

The REAL Sex Talk - Villainesse

The Real Sex Talk is a 12-part web series designed to educate Kiwi teenagers about sex in an approachable, yet informative way. Local medical experts feature in each episode, providing practical advice and information that answers many of the questions that Kiwi youth have when it comes to sex, sexual health, relationships and identity. Rape Prevention Education, Family Planning and RainbowYOUTH have all been consulted on the series and support the project.

See:

The Real Sex Talk

The Ministry of Health

The Ministry of Health has resources on how to talk to your teenager about sex.

They say: "Being a parent is a difficult but exciting job. Talking to your teenager about safe sex is a vital part of your role as a parent."

See:

talking with your teenager
HealthED resources on talking with your teenager in English and te reo Māori
HealthEd: you and your teenager

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How To Talk To Your Child About Sex